Miscellaneous - 10 Songs

  by Dixie Ernill

published: 23 / 7 / 2007

intro

In the latest in our 'Soundtrack of Our Lives' series, in which our writers tell of the personal impact of music on their lives, Dixie Ernill writes about the effect of music at several pivotal moments in time over a 20 year period

It is very difficult to write a soundtrack of my life, because over the 20 years I’ve been actively listening to music, I’ve been moved, inspired and even dumbfounded by so many songs. What I do know, however, is that certain songs stay locked in the consciousness forever, because when I hear them, I am momentarily transported back to a memory that the song seemed to soundtrack. I am not going to write about my favourite songs (although some of these have become more special due to the memory they evoke), but just songs that I can instantly connect with an earlier time. Downtown – Petula Clark Back in the summer of 1987, just before my O level results came out there was a daily feature on kids TV, where teenagers sent photos of themselves dressed up for a ‘night out’ for display in a kind of gallery while ‘Downtown’ was played as the musical accompaniment. I remember all the girls on the pictures seemed more beautiful and more interesting than any of the handful of girls that I knew in my village………until Corinne Williams came up from Stroud to stay with her mother for the Summer. From the moment I first saw her I was in awe. She had beautiful skin, bronzed legs protruding out of home-made jean-shorts and cutting edge short hair. Inspired by ‘Downtown’, after nearly 2 weeks of bottling, I finally spoke to her and heard her intoxicating Southern accent. On O’level results day (I got pretty good grades, but Corinne had nearly all A’s) I invited her and her friend to join me and my best mate for some drinks at my parents house. She played my brother’s Smiths’ albums (which, to impress her, I told her were mine) and, as we all got a bit tipsy on cider and black, a cushion fight broke out. Of course nothing happened and a few days later she returned to Stroud. I was strangely at a loss for weeks afterwards, but at least she had introduced me to the Smiths! Unlovable – The Smiths Early in 1989, when still a young looking 17 year old, I went to an ‘indie-night’ at a club in Manchester with some school mates (I told my parents I was staying over at a friend’s house studying for my A-levels). I had been to ‘school discos’ before, but this was my first proper club. I was amazed to hear ‘Unlovable’ being played as I entered the club. Sure I’d heard Smiths’ songs at the ‘school discos’ before, but this was an obscure b-side and the dance-floor was packed! I counted 7 Smiths’ songs that night and a similar amount at the next two and final visits I made to the club. I had no idea that such clubs existed. I’m sure someone even offered me drugs (which I declined). The club was the Hacienda, but I didn’t know about its importance until much later. Touch Me – The Doors In 1992, I was losing interest in my first proper relationship. I’d met Michelle, a local girl, whilst I was at Newcastle Poly and had spent most weekends on the train from Manchester to Newcastle and back for about 18 months (after I’d bombed out of Poly at the end of my first year). I liked the girl, probably even told her I loved her at the time, but the travelling had become a real pain. One Friday night, when I wasn’t on the 5.45 to Newcastle, a mate drove me upto the local pub and ‘Touch Me’ was playing in the car. That was the night I met Julie Stansfield. Short hair, beautiful skin and probably bronzed legs beneath her jeans. She was gorgeous and I fell for her instantly. Within a week I had called it a day with Michelle and summoned up enough courage to ask Julie out. Not surprisingly she said "no", but amazingly changed her mind when I saw her in the pub a few days later, and at closing time she delivered a beautiful ‘screen kiss’… I swear an orchestra was playing! We only dated for a while, but I was absolutely besotted and subsequently absolutely gutted when she pulled the plug. She then dated and married a geek. He looked like Joe 90. Must have been hung like an elephant. Whenforever – Stephen Fretwell In 2003 my son James was born. As a baby, he wasn’t a great sleeper. I spent many evenings in a battle of wills trying to get him to sleep. For a brief time I cracked it by playing the debut 3 track single by Stephen Fretwell to James whilst rocking him gently in my arms. I softly sang (in the loosest sense of the word) one of the B-sides, ‘Whenforever’ to him, with it’s apt lyric “your tired eyes are crisping over”, as he gradually gave up the fight to stay awake, allowing his breathing pattern to change and sleep to consume him. I know I was shattered at the time, but those nights cradling my son to sleep were some of the happiest times I have spent. To Sir, With Love – The Trashcan Sinatras It’s Over, It’s Ended, It’s Finished, It’s Done – The Montgolfier Brothers Maple Leaves – Jens Lekman My marriage wasn’t working. In truth I probably should not have got married in the first place, but in 2005 and early 2006 I realised that my future lay elsewhere. Inwardly, I became really down, but I found brief respite by going to concerts on my own and just escaping. I saw Trash Can Sinatras play a wonderful version of ‘To Sir, With Love’, that almost brought me to tears, The Montgolfier Brothers play a poignant ‘It’s Over, It’s Ended, It’s Finished, It’s Done’ and Jens Lekman left me dumbstruck with the beautiful ‘Maple Leaves’ at a tiny gig in Salford. Advice For Young Mothers To Be – The Veils On 10th September 2006, following the break-down of my marriage, I moved from my parents house to a rented room in Whalley Range. I was at a low ebb as the summer was ending, a great cricket season was coming to a close and I had left the comfort zone of the village I had lived in all my life. I needed to be away from there for a while, to put some distance between my ex-wife and myself. I knew that the separation was the right thing to do, but I hated not seeing my son everyday. I was staying with a work colleague and friend, Shani. She was fantastic and made me feel as welcome as anyone could, but I still felt alone. A week later I bought the Veils new CD, 'Nux Vomica' and sat in a darkened room in the house, emptied my mind and listened to it a couple of times. I let the music wash over me and somehow it made me feel better. I even started to sleep properly and stopped getting to work before 8am for a 9am start. My favourite song on the album was the infectious ‘Advice For Young Mothers To Be’, and it still sounds great now. Seeing the band perform it live in late November remains a great concert memory. Bones – The Killers Through Shani I met a beautiful Australian girl called Marina. After a month of being in the same pub quiz team and, completely to my grateful surprise, we started seeing each other. Very quickly I became captivated and within a few weeks we headed off for a few incredible days in the Orkney Islands. For anyone who hasn’t been – go. ‘Bones’ by the Killers seemed to be on the radio all the time back then and became something of an anthem for the trip. Into My Arms – Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds Things have progressed with Marina and after a tough couple of years I am genuinely happy. This happiness hit new heights when, at a recent crazy house party, we danced to ‘Into My Arms’ and as the song finished Marina pointed to her eye, then tapped her heart and pointed to me. I love her too.

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