published: 7 /
10 /
2021
Spencer Robertshaw returns after a break with the latest poem in his poetry column 'Evidently Spencertown'.
Article
A creak with a sneak
He's coming for you
Selvedge denim and Redwing shoe
Not quiet 50 he's got to moisturise
Eye gel from Harvey Nic
What a surprise!
Get that haircut from a mag
Make me look 30.
Do my earlobes sag
Follower of hippest joints
Not yet booked in for a hip joint
Still going out to the places whispered about
When he gets there he just wants a way out
But Action Man has got to be on the scene
If he misses out his gold turns green
Wearing scent by Hermes
Half a bottle a time makes the ladies sneeze
Drives a vintage classic car
Really it's just a fancy banger
Tells the girls he's a worldwide trader by day
Sits in his undies selling shit on eBay
All day and all of the night invents new delivery systems of bullshite
Action Man is going to live in Thailand
Jet black hair and smile like Rylan
Action Man forgets his botox never
He don't want be all crinkly leather
Got a gym membership and all the gear
Been four times this last year
Action Man could be in a movie
About some guy who thinks he's a big cool smoothie
But when filming ends it’s more like Mr Bean
Straight to video not the silver screen
So you might have the boots, the jeans and the smell
But the rest will just make your life hell
Don't try to keep up
It will wear you down
Calvin Klein undies and Fendi crown
Action Man don't burn out for others
They wouldn't do it for you
Those cats even sell their mothers
Sit back, relax and take time to see
A life well lived is the place to be.